The
article that I have read in relation to my own practice was Teacher Depletion: How Challenging Students Suck Us
Dry, and What We Can Do About It. By Grace Dearborn. This
article has helped change my perspective on my most challenging and disruptive
students. One way this occurred was when Dearborn states the following, “Students who present with the
most difficult personalities and behavioral choices in the classroom have
learned that adults are not trustworthy. In their minds, all adults will
eventually abandon or abuse… Still, deep down, they want there to exist an
exception. An adult who will treat them with respect, hold them accountable
firmly but gently, and never give up, no matter what awful things they do or
say. So they test us by acting out in class. They are collecting evidence, watching,
noting how we respond.” This point helped me realize that we as educators have
to gain the students’ trust. It’s easier said than done and this requires a lot
of patience.
Also, Dearborn states, “Paradoxically,
it is often the teachers who generally care the most who have the hardest time
maintaining positive assumptions about chronically troublesome students.” This
rings true for me because I deeply care about my children because I love hard.
However, I find myself emotionally drain at times wondering if I made the
necessary impacts in their lives.
And
last but least Dearborn said the following, “This is when I first started to understand that just
because a student doesn’t change on the outside (behavior) doesn’t mean he
isn’t changing on the inside (belief). Some kids are battling a lifetime, even
if they are just 5 years old, of not being able to trust adults. Some kids need
to experience more than one year of consistent, loving accountability in order
to internalize trust. We truly never know how we are affecting our toughest
students internally. But we can assume the best about them—that they are
working on it, even in the complete absence of any external proof.” She also
shared that she had one student who failed her course and was extremely
disruptive tell her that she was the best teacher he had. Dearborn further
discuss that just because they are not changing on the outside doesn’t mean
they are not changing on the inside. We have to continue to perservere with our
students and consistently care no matter what. That is why I can't give up.
